I felt like an anvil flopped on my head realizing my current weight. I couldn't accept that after all the trying to reduce my weight in the past, still, they're not enough. I know it's also my fault that it happened. I tried to put down my weight but in the end--- after some days or weeks--- I'd go back eating garbage. Such a disappointment. I remember back in High School I was only weighing 100-110 lbs. I don't have flabby stomach back then, I wasn't even fat ever. But now, things have changed as you grow older, I believe. If you weren't looking after yourself, you'll fall apart after seeing what you see in yourself is someone you kinda don't like. I hate it. Man, I wanna lose weight so badly that it's killing me. It's disheartening that I feel so down right now. Writing this makes me sick.
Since yesterday, I bought this weighing scale to finally keep track of my weight loss or gain anytime I please. I've decided I should by my own cuz I can't go to the hospital or clinic just to check my weight, if I did I couldn't do it often. At least this way, whenever I thought of checking I could unpack my weighing scale from its box, and that's it.
Next is my ab exercise machine. I just ordered Ab Swing II, actually. I did it the moment I woke up from sleep this afternoon. It cost a little much, but I've kept an amount of money for this day to come, so I'm ready. It'll arrive this Wednesday, so, probably I could start exercising the day after or this weekend. I hope in two weeks time I could see best results on my tummy and weight.
I know discipline is the key to success, I don't wanna keep promising myself that I should do this and shouldn't do that raa raa, all I wanna do is take care of myself from now on.
